The important thing is you see the error of your ways. The worst of it is how I failed our child, getting killed in an alien attack like this. If only I'd been completely subservient to you I might have lived. Suddenly BILL PULLMAN'S DYING WIFE is wheeled in. I am such a wimpy President for not realizing that the worst paranoid reactionist fantasies of our nation were true. MILITARY is trying to cope with the situation. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO!!!! Suddenly HARRY CONNICK JR is killed by aliens. Yay!! No more Harvey Fierstein!!! Go aliens!!!!Įlsewhere, WILL SMITH'S STRIPPER-WITH-A-HEART-OF-GOLD FIANCEE saves her CHILD, but more importantly, her DOG. WOO-HOOO!!! YAYYYY!!!! WAY TO GO ALIENS!!!!!Īlso during the alien assault HARVEY FIERSTEIN, who was playing the ANNOYING STEREOTYPICAL GAY CO-WORKER, is killed. Meanwhile, the characters all pile into AIR FORCE ONE and take off just as the WHITE HOUSE explodes in a gargantuan fireball.ĪUDIENCE IN CANADA, BRITAIN, AND MOST OTHER COUNTRIES BESIDES THE U.S. Oh geez! For some reason this is terribly threatening. I've used my nerdy powers to discover that the aliens want to kill us all.Īs he says this, the ROUND, CURVY ALIEN SHIPS open up their MYSTERIOUS ORIFICES and begin destroying all the TALL, HARD, ERECT SKYSCRAPERS in AMERICA. (talking in hurried stop-and- start sentences) JEFF GOLDBLUM rushes in with his JEWISH DAD, who is an ANNOYING STEREOTYPE. I hope he learns how to be a macho asshole before the end of the movie. I would use my own name above my lines except I really have no other plot function. This is STAR WARS.Įxcuse me sir, but aliens have surrounded the planet. Then an immense spaceship crawls across the screen. Then a shadow moves across the ground and the flag. We see a world dominated by an American flag.
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